You want to be more confident? You need to believe in yourself. Here's how.

If you want to increase your confidence, you must believe in yourself.

Mountainous area with two people climbing a rock. One person is standing on a rock formation, and another is on a cord, dangling below the person standing on the rock formation. — To increase confidence, believe in yourself

I frequently hear people say “I am not sure I can be successful in school.” Someone else may be saying, “I am not going to be successful in another job.” Others might say, “I cannot be successful in a relationship.” I am sure there are as many variations of “I cannot be successful at ….” as there are people who read this. What is YOUR statement?

Notice I did not agree with any of this. I said that one should have confidence in him or herself. Do you really think that the thousands of people who have graduated from college had a ton more self-confidence than you do? Do you really think that the thousands of people who have high-level jobs, relationships, or anything else for that matter, have more confidence than you do?

I have seen thousands of students. Trust me. That is not true. Many students start school with little belief in themselves but gain that over time.

I also have a large collection of birthdays. I have seen a lot of people. I have talked to a lot of them. Believe me, most of the people I see have low confidence levels. If your confidence level is not high, you are not alone.

You do well at work, don’t you? You believe in yourself there, right?

Before you say you don’t have confidence, let’s think about this. Are you self-confident enough to get up tomorrow and face the world?

Do you have a job?

Do you perform well at your job?

Do you believe you can do an excellent job in your chosen career?

You may not like your job, but do you have positive thoughts that you can do well in a career you love?

Have you ever lost points on an assignment because you forgot to do something?

My assignment checklist can help you remember the details. Check it out!

You manage to do well at home, right?

Have you managed to live on your own, at least in the sense that you can control what you do and where and when you do? You can have a significant other, children, parents, or roommates, but you do not have a caretaker, do you?

I did not think so.

You have done things. If you are a parent, you have had to deal with many surprising situations. You did that, right?

If you have no children, you still have had to make decisions in different circumstances, right?

Do you believe you can face most challenges that you will encounter?

You can face your challenges

I do not say you will be the greatest student ever. I said you could face those challenges. If you think you can face whatever tomorrow throws at you, you should have some reasonable level of confidence in your own abilities. You are not sitting in the middle of the floor, throwing a tantrum, waiting for someone to make decisions for you, are you?

Then you have enough confidence in your own skills and abilities to be willing to try something new. You can be a little afraid, but that is normal. There is usually a bit of fear connected with excitement. Let yourself feel the excitement of trying something new.https://olderstudentscanlearnnewskills.com/failure-is-success-in-progress/

The unknown and fear

Do not dwell on the fear of something you have not even started yet. You do not even know what you are going to encounter yet; why should you be afraid?

Yeah, yeah, it is the unknown. Tomorrow is unknown. Every tomorrow is an unknown, yet you have faced thousands of unknowns and you sit there, reading this, ready to face another unknown.

Sit back, get comfortable, take a deep breath or three and think of all the things, big and little, you have done in your life that you were not sure you could do.

If you find yourself thinking about the things you did not do as well as you wanted, stop. Consider those things. Give yourself credit for even attempting them. Nobody, and I repeat, NOBODY, ever manages to successfully complete everything he or she tries.

A young blond boy, wearing jeans and a long-sleeved tee shirt, is in a gym. He is trying to lift a weight that weighs more than he does. He has a determined look on his face. — You need to believe in yourself

Failing is learning – That is good!

I like the idea of the First Attempt in Learning to be the definition of fail. Anything meaningful we have done, we have first failed at it. If you were successful the first time you did something, do you really value that action or behavior? Probably not. Other people might be envious of you, but you did not value that skill. It was too easy for you.

We value that which we have to struggle to get. To do that, we need to fail first, so we know what to do on our next attempt. How many times do children fall when learning to ride a bicycle? Each time a child gets on the bicycle again, the child makes an adjustment. After falling a few times, the child makes enough adjustments to learn to balance and then takes off.

Adults are no different.

Well, maybe we are a little different. Many adults are scared of doing what they did naturally when they were children. Anyone who wants to be successful needs to regain that willingness to fall and get back up.

Find a biography of your favorite “famous person”. Check out how many times that person failed before becoming “an overnight success”. Even though that person is famous now, at one point, he or she was just like you, sitting at home or school or wherever, wondering, “What will happen if…?” That person decided to take action and was willing to fail.

What is stopping you from taking the same route?

Are you listening to other people tell you that you can’t? Think back to the time when someone told you that, and you dug in your heels and said, “Oh, yeah?” and then proceeded to accomplish your goal.

Are you listening to your inner voice tell you that “I can’t do this”? Do you think that your famous person never thought that? I bet, however, that the idea of never knowing if the dream could be achieved was a worse fear than trying and failing.

Do you want to get to your 70^th birthday and regret the things you never were willing to try?

There is a picture of a metropolitan city skyline in the background.In the foreground, a man in a suit, with his arms crossed in front of him, is sitting on a tightrope. He seems perfectly calm and self-assured. — To increase confidence, believe in yourself

A quote to consider:

“Your success in making changes in your lifestyle, such as losing weight or stopping smoking, is directly related to your belief that you can make those changes and that they will positively affect your health and well-being.”

Herbert Benson, The Wellness Book, 1992, p. 10 https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/325113.The_Wellness_Book

You control your life. No one else can. What is your choice? If you have questions about this, send me a message, and let’s chat. I can help.

If you are still reading, I really appreciate that. Thank you. If you found this helpful, please share it and/or make a comment and let me know what resonated with you.

If you are in college, or thinking about attending, check out my new Facebook group. Join today and help me build a group that is really useful to adult college students.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/552269656724148