Have you wondered how you can study at home, with your children? You might find some of these tips to be helpful.
Do you think that raising children and earning a degree cannot be done at the same time?
The answer to the second question is the most positive YES! People do this all the time. That does not mean that they did not worry about it. That means that they found a way to study with children that worked and allowed them to raise their children AND earn a degree.
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Now, the how-to part….
For this particular point, I will be discussing parents who have children at school. Maybe the parents work and come home to children who have not seen the parent all day. This might be fanciful, but the idea is to remember what happens when you come home to children, or you have been home and the children come home to you. Either way, I bet you get greeted enthusiastically, at least usually, right?
Once you get settled, that is, you change clothes and do whatever you do when you get home, give the children some time. Children want and need to know that they are your priority. They need to know that you care for and love them. Pay attention to them first.
If you come home, or if they come home when you have already been there, they want your attention. Give it to them. They need to know that they are your number one priority.
After a while, maybe 30 minutes or so, they will have realized you love them, and they will realize they have other things they want to do. They will probably leave you alone. In a sense, you want to get them bored with you, so they move on to something more exciting in their eyes.
Your goal has been achieved. You have gained some solitude. The children realize again that they are important to you.
If you ignore this and tell them something along the lines of “I have some important work to do right now, please give me some time”, they will pester you ALL NIGHT LONG. They do not think that anything can be more important than they are. They will not leave you in peace until you reassure them that they are the most important people in your life.
Think about this.
How many times have you told them you have something to do, but they keep pestering you?
Have you ever seen a television program, movie, or even a cartoon in which daddy comes home and the children attach themselves to his pant legs? They want his attention.
They have not seen him all day and they somehow think that the absence means he does not love them anymore. The children want assurance that the parent loves them, even when they are separated.
Attend to the children first.
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If they are old enough, you might suggest that you and the children do homework together. In some cases, that might work. In other cases, the children will suddenly remember something they absolutely, positively must do elsewhere. You know your children. Am I wrong?
When you take 30 minutes or so to give the children your full attention, you will satisfy their needs and, most probably, leave you in peace. If you do not do this, you will not have peace.
This tip also applies to other adults in the house.
Do not tell them that, in this regard, they have the same needs as children. Your significant other, siblings, parents, other relatives, any other important adult who lives with you, needs to know that he or she is important to you. You must demonstrate that the books are not as important to you as that person.
In other words, attend to the other person first. You can even think about making yourself boring. After a while, the other person will remember other things that are important. You should be left alone, and you can get some study done.
Yes, this would be a dream, but with some time, patience, help, and a schedule, you can study at home, even if you have children.
How to study with younger children?
This is a little harder on the parent than the child, usually.
A small child might want your constant attention, but you really need to teach the child to be able to manage his or her time when no one else is around. You, as the parent, should not be responsible for figuring out what the child does every minute of every day. The child needs to learn how to keep him or herself busy without an adult’s guidance.
If you do not do this, you are setting yourself up for trouble and the child will never learn how to deal with life when no one is around to schedule his or her time. This is a good thing for the child to learn, and a good thing for your sanity.
I cannot go into a lot of detail here because there are too many options given the age range and the individual households. You know your children. Give this some thought and work on teaching your children how to manage their own activities. This will do double-duty benefiting both you and the children.
Other helpful information:
You might also find these other posts to be helpful:
Taking effective advantage of the study cycle.
Chunking your time can be REALLY helpful.
I have also mentioned this site in another post, but in case you have not seen it, you might find this useful as well. https://social.usq.edu.au/uni-life/blogs/survive-chaos-studying-with-children-heidi
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Remember that you are supported, and you can do this!
Until next week,
Valerie
Providing information and tools to help harried adult college students earn their degrees without losing their sanity.
Have you ever lost points on an assignment because you forgot to do something?
My assignment checklist can help you remember the details.
Check it out! It is FREE!!!!
updated 27 July 2023