As I write this, it is the third week of December. (Where did the year go? Have I lost it? Is it with my keys, wherever they are?) Are you thinking about your New Year’s resolutions yet? Would you be willing to try setting goals and making a new resolution if you had a better idea that you would work on those goals for longer than two weeks?
The year sped by and you did not accomplish most of what you intended to do with your last set of New Year’s resolutions.
OK, if you are honest, the year sped by and you did not accomplish anywhere near the things you intended to do. You are feeling almost the way you felt this time last year.
You have some enthusiasm and you want to make this new year the year you FINALLY get to really, really, really work on those goals.
That is, unless, you have decided to ignore the idea of goals because you never work on them anyway, so why try?
What if I told you that you could start working on your goals? Depending on the goal, you might even be able to accomplish it this year. If nothing else, you could actually start working on your goals and begin to see some progress.
Really. Yes, YOU.
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Our resolutions frequently are born in emotional moments
Generally, at some point in time, many resolutions were decided on a spur-of-the-moment reaction to something. Now, this moment in time might have happened ten years ago. People, however, keep making New Year’s resolutions every year to fix whatever “It” is. Maybe you had that “It” as your New Year’s resolution this year and you did not work on it.
I would still suspect that many of your resolutions were born in an emotional moment when something did not work out the way you wanted.
You decided that you would get organized or productive or both. Then you could not find your To-Do List.
Maybe you tried on a dress you wore during the holidays last year. Then you realized that the dress did not fit the way it did last year.
Maybe you saw someone you had not seen in years and thought that you looked older, fatter, less stylish, more X, and less Y. In some other way, you just did not meet some standard that was important to you.
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Maybe you started a term expecting to get all As but ended up with Cs or worse.
Did you make a resolution to get tasks done PRIOR to the deadline, only to end the year about five minutes late?
You decided you would do something to “fix” the issue. You made a New Year’s resolution.
The problem with New Year’s Resolutions
The problem, most likely, is you decided on a goal, and created your New Year’s resolution, but you had no plan, no real plan, to achieve that goal.
Oh, yes, you might have thought something like “I will never eat Oreos again” or “Ice cream will never again touch my lips” or “I will organize my study space” or some similar all-or-nothing idea, but those ideas rarely are realistic.
We forget that we live in a world with other people and we can never guarantee that those other people will do what we want them to do. If those “other people” are your children, you already know that they will somehow do exactly what you do not want them to do, right?
If you want to work on an important New Year’s Resolution this year, I suggest you first take some time to think deeply about that goal. Why do you want to achieve that goal? Dig deep and decide why you want it.
You might have a lot of goals that you want for the moment, but you know, if you think about it, that you do not have the time, the energy, or, even the desire to work on the goal.
If you were given three magic wishes, the odds are that you would wish for things that you might not be willing to work for; that is why you want to have the magic wish granted, right?
I want to fit into last year’s jeans.
Lots of people wish for this. On the surface, that seems an obvious goal. If I start asking “Why do you want to do that?”, many people could not come up with a reason to work for that goal or resolution. Getting into last year’s jeans might mean going on a diet. Do you think people want to overhaul their eating habits so that they can accomplish their weight loss? Do people want to give up fast food and start preparing healthy meals at home?
“But I do not have the time to cook healthy meals”.
Do people really want to do whatever it takes to achieve their New Year’s resolutions?
Are you willing to do something you are not doing now?
For this example, are you willing to rearrange a schedule and try something new? Would you try preparing a week’s worth of meals on a weekend? Not a lot of people are not willing to do that.
Maybe the issue is not cooking healthy meals. Maybe the issue is getting more exercise. I remember a student of mine years ago who had the goal of losing weight and getting more exercise. I suggested she park at the far end of the student parking lot and walk the distance to class.
She looked at me as if I had lost my mind. She could not believe I was serious. If she could manage it, she would prefer to have someone drop her at the front door so she would not have to walk a long distance.
Do you think that young lady really, really, really wanted to add more exercise to her life?
I remember overhearing another student comment that her legs were getting heavy. She asked a classmate for an idea of how she could trim her thighs. She asked the classmate because he was working as a trainer in a local gym. His response? “Run”.
Her response? “No seriously, what can I do to trim my thighs?”
He gave her a response, but she did not want to hear it. She wanted some exercises while she was watching television or lying around, and she thought those exercises would accomplish her goal. As far as I know, she is still asking for suggestions.
Ineffective exercise and plans do not make a New Year’s resolution happen.
Are you willing to work to achieve your goal?
Would you be willing to park on the far side of the grocery store/mall parking lot and walking to your destination to add more exercise to your life? Would you be willing to do something that might cause you to sweat at times?
Are you willing to start saying “No” to other people? https://olderstudentscanlearnnewskills.com/saying-no/
Are you willing to gain control of your time? https://olderstudentscanlearnnewskills.com/feeling-overwhelmed/
Is your answer “No”? Did you start thinking of reasons why that would not work for you? If so, I would bet that joining a gym would be a waste of your money. You really are not going to do much to add more exercise to your life.
Of course, you probably have New Year’s resolutions that do not entail changing your eating or exercise habits. Would you be willing to change your behaviors, perhaps even your lifestyle, to accomplish the resolution you do have?
Changing resolutions to focused goals
Pick a resolution, any resolution. Can you
- Take about thirty minutes and create a plan for achieving that goal?
- Identify your sticking points and what you will do to overcome those sticking points and move forward with your goal?
- Take that resolution, that goal, and break it down into small, measurable steps that you can use to measure your success?
- Think of ways that you can do something toward that goal every single day?
Accomplishing a goal is similar to losing weight. You might want to lose 20 pounds, but you know you cannot lose it all at once, at least, not without surgery. That needs to be accomplished in small segments over time. Losing two pounds a week is much more realistic and doable than thinking about losing 20 pounds.
Are you willing to set up a schedule that will allow you to get your schoolwork done earlier than the last minute?
If you are willing to set up a plan that you will do, you will be more likely to accomplish your goal. You will be more likely to be one of the very few who actually works on a New Year’s Resolution in May, or even later, if necessary. THAT would be an accomplishment!
Here, for example, are some suggestions about accomplishing one of the most popular New Year’s Resolutions: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/50-new-years-resolution-ideas-and-how-achieve-each-them.html
Let me know what you think about this.
Would you like to do something like this, but you do not know where to start?
Have you tried something similar, but got stuck?
Let me know what your issues are with goal setting or sticking with your goals. I might have some ideas that would be helpful to you. If I do not, maybe another reader might. Depending on the issues, I might be able to create something you would find useful.
I am working on something about S.M.A.R.T. goal setting. I plan to release that about the end of January. That, and my Habit Tracker, can help you get closer to your goals.
Leave a comment or ask a question. Let’s see if this is the year you begin accomplishing your goals and working toward your dream.
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Valerie
Have you ever lost points on an assignment because you forgot to do something? My assignment checklist can help you remember the details. Check it out! It is FREE!!!!
Valerie
Providing information and tools to help harried adult college students earn their degrees without losing their sanity.
updated 7 January 2024