Are you tired, and perhaps even sick, of where you are in life? Do you want to change something and create a different life? Do you want to change your life?
What is the one action or behavior you could do today that would get you on the path to achieving your goals?
Let me repeat that. Think about this as you read it.
What is the one action or behavior you could do today that would get you on the path to achieving your goals?
This is asking about YOUR behavior. I am not asking you to list things that other people need to do. I am telling you to consider only what is within your abilities. This is not something that you want someone else to do. If you want to achieve your goals and dreams, you need to review what you can do.
“I need my children/partner/boss/friends/X, Y or Z to ….”
That is not going to work. You cannot control other people. You only can control what you do. You cannot achieve your goals/dreams by relying on other people to do what you want. You can only rely on yourself and what you do.
Forgot those “If my children ….” or “If my partner ….” or “If the world ….”.
That is not going to happen. If you have not figured that out by now, let me tell you that getting other people to do things so that you can achieve your goals does not work as well as you think it does. Has it worked for you yet?
No one else cares about your life and your future as much as you do. YOU are the only person who can make changes in the direction your life takes.
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Where do you want to go?
Who do you want to be?
What do you need to do now to get there?
At this point, I suspect that, you would be saying something like, “But there are things I cannot control, and I cannot change those”.
Well. yes, but.
Think of a successful person. This may be someone you know personally or someone you have read about. Do you really think that person became successful because all the pieces came together perfectly and that person just walked into success? If that Is what you think, I suggest you check that person’s biography. Even people who have been born into families with money and prestige have not had every life situation just magically fall into place.
If you know or follow anything about King Charles of England’s son, Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle, you should realize that even being the son of the king of England does not guarantee that roses just fall into their paths and doors open to great opportunities. Even the Princess of Wales has cancer. She may be a princess, but, in many respects, she is no different from you or me.
I am not discussing politics here, please do not think that I am, but Joe Biden, the current President of the United States and Donald Trump, the past President, have not had every one of their plans end the way they wanted. You can honestly say that about each President this country has had. If a President of the United States cannot get all his plans to work perfectly, why do you think you can?
Why do you think your plans should all go perfectly all the time?
Life does not progress in a nice, neat, straight line. You know that. Why do you expect that your goals are going to be accomplished in a neat manner?
Are you ready to acknowledge that you will encounter pot-holes along the road to achieving your dreams and goals?
If you believed that you were stuck in your life and could not change it, you may now be feeling that you are no longer living in the moment. You may look at things going on around you and feel hopeless and stuck, as if you were on autopilot and things just happen to you, rather than you being the one in the driver’s seat. Finding a way to get emotionally unstuck so you can enjoy life once again can be key to helping you get the most out of life.
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While many things can cause you to get stuck in life, from a mental or physical health condition to a big trauma that goes on in your life, there are also many steps you can take to help yourself get restarted. Some of the best tips include:
Become More Aware
One place you can start when you believe you are stuck is with your awareness. Consider an examination of your unconscious to see what is going on. You may find that there are cognitive distortions or defense mechanisms that are in place that make it hard to be aware of your surroundings. Even your default patterns in relationships could be to blame.
This is not easy to do. If you are not sure if this is happening to you, think of the last time that you said something like “I do X, Y, and Z and nothing changes. I am going nowhere fast.” or something along that line. I will suggest that you have been waiting and/or expecting something or someone to change and that never happened. If that seems true, then maybe you need to be the person who does something different. Depending on the situation, you may be able to handle this on your own or may need to call in a professional.
Take on Responsibility.
According to Psychology Today, many people find it easier to blame someone else, rather than take responsibility for their actions.
“Blaming is like other formal defense mechanisms–a strategy of deception that we use to help preserve our self-esteem. It encompasses an attempt to disown feelings that we judge to be too uncomfortable or part of ourselves that create within us a sense of shame. Blame, especially with regard to anger, also further reflects disowning our responsibility for our own behavior.”
You may not want to admit when you have done something wrong, but it can be freeing. Stop for a moment and take an honest inventory of how well you are behaving and what things you may have done wrong. I would suggest that you practice forgiveness, for others and yourself as well.
Detach from Unrealistic Expectations
All of us often find that we have unrealistic expectations in life. Whether you are a perfectionist or not, there are times when your expectations of a person or a situation are not realistic and those expectations can lead to a lot of disappointment. You need to start looking at the situation and deciding if your expectations make sense for or not, tapering back a bit if you end up adding too much that makes it impossible.
Choose Self-Love
It is hard to get going again and enjoy the life you have if you can’t take the time to practice some self-love. The first step to doing this is to make that inner critic go away. When all you hear in your mind are all the ways that you are imperfect and not as good as others, you can feel down and depressed, unmotivated to get much done. Start by showing yourself some compassion and see what a difference it makes.
Ask for Support
Sometimes, you need to bring in some support to give you the help you desire. You are a strong and powerful individual, but you can’t do everything on your own. Bring in some support to see how they can help raise you and make you feel better. This support can come from friends and family members, but be open to seeking up from a professional, such as a therapist, who can assist you in looking deep down and working through some of your other issues too.
While it may be normal to get stuck in life sometimes and feel like you are on autopilot all the time, that doesn’t mean you need to stay in that situation forever. Learning how to enjoy life and jump right back in is one of the best ways for you to get going again. I have some ideas about changing habits that you might find useful.
If you have not figured it out, I am saying that I think that people need to accept themselves and their situation, including the bad as well as the good, if they want to develop the life they want and enjoy it.
People have what may be called “comfortable lives”, but they may not be happy with themselves even with a lot of money, fame, and success. How many famous people, or even some not-so-famous, people can you think of who are miserable or even committed suicide?
Someone who thinks that money buys happiness, probably stopped reading this several paragraphs ago.
If you have a small, quiet sense that your life might be different if you stopped expecting other people and other things to do what you wanted, I would suggest you listen to that thought. How can you get where you want to go if you are relying on others to make changes? You need to rely on yourself, take stock of your situation, and develop a plan to get you where you want to go.
You can have help from partners and friends, but, the bottom line is that your future is your responsibility and only yours.
Now, let’s figure out how to get to that future.
If you are still reading, I really appreciate that. Thank you. If you found this helpful, please share it and/or make a comment and let me know what resonated with you.
Valerie
Have you ever lost points on an assignment because you forgot to do something?
My assignment checklist can help you remember the details.
Check it out! It is FREE!!!!
updated 21 April 2024
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