There is not doubt that life throws curve balls at us.
Getting hit by a curve ball, or even multiple curve balls, day after day does not mean that you should give up on your goals and dreams. Sooner or later, the life does stop throwing those curve balls, if only for a little while.
I am sure that, at some point, you have been hit by so many surprises you thought about giving up. Many of you have thought that, at least once a week, I am sure. You may have given up on your dreams and goals because of those curve balls. I challenge you to rethink that. You can recover when life throws you a curve ball, even several of them.
I remember a time when my dog was sick. She was throwing up and, naturally, I was cleaning up. I was also trying to anticipate and prepare for the next episode, wondering if she would stop, when I should call the vet, etc., etc., etc.
Mistakes happen; get back on track
She had a good night and I was hopeful….. until she threw up after I got my morning routine started.
:::sigh:::
When she stopped throwing up, she did not want to eat, which was a concern, but, then again, she was not throwing up. I scheduled a vet appointment for two days later, thinking that if she still seemed sick by then, I would have the appointment. If she got better, I could cancel the appointment. She got better on her own, so she did not have to face the vet.
I am discussing my dog, but I suspect many of you with children have been in the same situation.
I had been writing on the blog more frequently at that point, but suddenly, I thought “The Blog!!!”. I had totally forgotten this. Cleaning the floor does tend to block other thoughts from the mind, right?
I could have used my dog as an excuse for not writing the blog, but I did not. I recognized that “life happens”, did not give myself grief, and got back to the blog after I cared for my dog.
I think many of us use situations such as this, or whichever one you were thinking of, to stop doing something. We interpret the “interruption” as a sign that whatever we were doing shouldn’t be done. I have know people who have had interruptions over two or three days and who take those interruptions as a sign they should ditch their diet. They did not follow the diet for three days, why continue?
Maybe the issue is other than a diet, but I suspect you know people like this too. I think that, sometimes, many of us think that because life throws a curve ball, any curve ball, people that that as a reason/excuse to stop doing something they think is hard. Are you one of those people? I know I am, at times. I keep working on this.
Did you just realize you lost points on your assignment because you forgot to do something?
Was that one too many face palms for you?
My assignment checklist can help you remember the details.
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Repetition works.
Once something gets into a pattern, we humans tend to see that pattern as a normal part of our lives. If the pattern is strong enough, we even feel uncomfortable when we do not do it. Sometimes, we feel uncomfortable because we are not sure if we have done it. Have you had a few moments of concern about whether you brushed your teeth, turned off the coffee pot, or locked the door this morning?
Once we break a habit or routine, it becomes a bit easier to break the habit/routine again. And again, and again…. If we feel as if we are getting hit by too many curve balls, then we tend to break, or at least bend, many of our good habits until the routine/habit no longer exists.
How do you respond to a break in your routine?
This applies to studying or any task we say we want to do to accomplish a goal. Granted, there are very reasonable reasons not to follow one’s scheduled routine. The issue, however, is how we respond to that break in the schedule. Do you do what you can to attend to the issue, in this case, engage in a study period that is unscheduled, but will get you back on schedule, or do you use the circumstance to “take a day off”?
One day is not a problem. The issue is if you make that two days, then three, then…..
You get the idea.
I could very easily have said, “I will write the blog later”. Who, however, knows, when “later” will come? That is not a part of my schedule.
I am not saying that people should feel guilty about having to change their schedule for life’s unexpected curve balls.
I am, however, suggesting that people need to think about their reactions to those circumstances. If you missed your episode of Netflix or your daily dose of social media, you would, most likely, make a point of getting back on track. Would you do the same thing with your studies or another of your goals?
This applies to success in life, whether academic or not. If you have a goal, but can easily get side-tracked, then you will never achieve your goal and you might blame “circumstances”. Bah, humbug.
You can change your schedule to get back into Netflix, or whatever, so you can also change your schedule to get back into studying. What you do reflects your priorities. If you find yourself saying “but, but, but….”, trying to explain why you did not complete your study for the week, I would ask you why not. Isn’t getting your degree a priority? What is more important to you? Are you using one of life’s inevitable, and expected, curve balls as an excuse to not do something you find unappealing or tough?
At this point, you need to have a long conversation with yourself about what you say you want versus what you are actually doing.
Keep your ego out of your discussion.
When you have “conversations with yourself”, think about the main points, the good issue, and the not-so-great. This is no place for your ego. There is no point in thinking that you have been mistreated or insulted or someone did something to you deliberately. That, perhaps, may be true, but revenge, or spending time thinking about that part of the problem really gets you nowhere.
At times like this, you need to think clearly and consider all your options. When you engage in self-pity because someone deliberately did something to annoy/hurt you, you are allowing him or her to succeed. Refuse to let your ego get involved, and treat the problem as simply a problem to be solved, the other person will be denied the emotional satisfaction of knowing you are upset.
If you have children, think about this. When a child is hurt emotionally, would you advise the child to wallow in the pain, or would you help the child to find ways to bounce back even better?
You may have done that for friends. Be a friend to yourself and look at the problem without your injured ego’s involvement.
Did you just realize you lost points on your assignment because you forgot to do something?
Was that one too many face palms for you?
My assignment checklist can help you remember the details.
Check it out! It is FREE!!!!
Keep looking at the positive
Looking at the positive helps you see options. If you continue to look at the negative, you can get a bit depressed and spend useless time feeling sorry for yourself. Some of this might be helpful, but do not spend so much time wishing the problem did not happen that you do not do something to correct the issue.
What To Do When You Don’t Know What You Want
We have all been there. It is easy to get stuck when none of your options stand out. One job has better hours and more interesting work, but the other possibility offers a better salary. The best options may be less than obvious.
Unfortunately, failing to make decisions in a timely matter can have negative repercussions. With more time, you can develop more elegant solutions. When time is short, you are limited to just a few options, none of which may be very good.
Keep these ideas in mind when you are unsure of what you want:
- Know your values. Those who are well in tune with their values have a much easier time making decisions. It’s much more challenging to make a choice when you’re unclear and lack a stable view of yourself and what’s important to you.
- Have goals. When you know exactly where you’re headed, most of the options can be eliminated quickly. Does a particular possibility bring you closer to reaching your goal? The more your decisions are based on your goals, the more likely you are to accomplish them. Keep your goals fresh in your mind.
- Remember that life throws curve balls at everyone. Rich, poor, male, female, old or young. Life is an equal opportunity player, even if you do not see it that way. Talk to people. You will find they all have been hit by one of those meandering curve balls at some of the worst possible moments. Life is not just aiming at you.
- Collect the information you require. Wise decisions require good information. Most of us either fail to gather enough information or we’re forever stuck on this step.
- Know yourself. Knowing yourself and your goals can dramatically reduce the amount of time needed to navigate your information-gathering efforts.
- Examine your fear of failure. It’s common to shun actions that may result in failure. Ensure you’re not basing your decisions too much on the likelihood of success.
- Examine your fear of success. Though this seems strange, this may be stopping you. You might be concerned that people will have what you think of as unrealistic expectations of you if you are successful. Then again, you might consider yourself an “imposter” if you are successful.
- Avoid allowing a little uncertainty to prevent you from fully living your life.
- Keep the long-term in mind. Many individuals are shortsighted. Prepare a foundation for the future. You may choose the easier option today with the intention of straightening things out down the road. However, it’s generally harder to change course once you’ve gained momentum.
- Consider the risks. Managing risk isn’t just for investments. All decisions carry some element of risk. Consider what’s at stake before making a final decision.
- Set a deadline. We’re all used to deadlines, whether they relate to a project at work or choosing a vacation destination. Give yourself a reasonable deadline and stick to it.
- If you are still stuck after applying all the other suggestions, just choose something. All the options are likely to produce a similar outcome. Pick one and begin taking action. Failing to choose is choosing to fail.
- Stay Focused: No progress can be made without a clear and committed decision. Even flipping a coin is infinitely more effective than failing to decide. Be confident and make a decision! Stay focused.
If you do not decide your life, outside forces will decide it for you.
When you fail to decide what you want, you are ultimately stuck with the simplest option available. Avoid putting yourself in this situation.
Suppose you need to find a new apartment to rent. With a 3-month deadline, you have far more options than you do with a 7-day deadline. If you wait too long to decide what you want, you lose flexibility, and your options are greatly restricted. Make your decisions intelligently and quickly. Your life will be more rewarding and less stressful.
If you really want the degree, you really should be shifting your priorities. If you have a conflict, this does need to be addressed. I would strongly suggest you contact someone you trust and, if necessary, your academic advisor and discuss the situation before you get so behind that you give up. This plan applies to pretty much everything in life, doesn’t it?
Does that make sense?
This site has a long list of quotes that can help change your perspective. I hope you find one or two that you like. I think you will probably find one or two that hit home. Note: You do have to click through a couple of screens to get to the quotes, but that does not take long and I think the quotes are worth the annoyance.
If you have thoughts or questions on this, please let me know what you think.
If you found this helpful, please share it with someone you think would also find it useful. I would appreciate it. Your friend might appreciate it too.
Did you just realize you lost points on your assignment because you forgot to do something?
Was that one too many face palms for you?
My assignment checklist can help you remember the details.
Check it out! It is FREE!!!!
If you are in college, or thinking about attending, check out my new Facebook group. Join today and help me build a group that is really useful to adult college students.
Back to School: Supporting Adults Earning College Degrees
Until next week, remember you are supported!!
Valerie
Providing information and tools to help harried adult college students earn their degrees without losing their sanity.
https://olderstudentscanlearnnewskills.com/
updated 16 March 2023